Changing My Approach to Filmmaking: Explore, Experiment, Reflect, Change, Retry, Results?

Man!!!

I'm excited!  I'm working on an idea for a future film project that I think is going to be freaking awesome!  Today, I finally rendered some preliminary results and was ecstatic after seeing the potential!  Unfortunately for you, I can't share any of the results yet, but I wanted to write about the experience.

Regarding the part of my life as a filmmaker- I don't even know if I'd call it my career yet- I feel like I haven't really been learning since I graduated from film school.  That's not entirely true, but my process or approach to filmmaking certainly changed then and has become rather stale.

In film school, everything I was seeing and doing was new.  I was learning.  I had the time to experiment with new ideas, try anything, fail, reflect, try something different.  There were no clients involved or money to be made.  Most importantly, the end result often didn't matter.  It was all about learning and taking time in the process.  And that made the process very rewarding at the personal level.

Since graduating, I learned a lot about the film industry and have made advancements in my writing and directorial work.  But in retrospect, my process to filmmaking now feels stagnant.  I realized, for the most part, I've been playing it safe.  For the majority of my work, I've been producing films for a client or for compensation with an end result in mind and a deadline to be met.  Although it can still be a creative process, it is not an artistic process.

I realize this is why I often think of myself as a creative, but not an artist.  I think, ideally, the artistic process should have few constraints in terms of time and results- granted, some constraints can be helpful as a creative challenge.

Many great artists have a "through-line" with their work: A certain direction, element, or theme that they are constantly exploring and building upon.  That is the important part: exploring.  Taking the time to try things, fail, reflect, improve, try a new direction.  You build upon results and don't settle at one result and hand it over to a client.  Most importantly, you are exploring and creating art primarily for yourself and no one else.

That is what I'm finally doing again: exploring.  I'm experimenting with my filmmaking technique.  I'm learning.  I know what I'm gonna try differently.  I'm taking my time.  I have ideas and directions for results, but there is no end point for the time being.  I'm doing it for myself and no one else.

And that makes it more of an artistic process that is incredibly exciting and rewarding.

I look forward to sharing!

Peace.

Change of Gratitude + Transportation: Run 13 Miles to Rent a Car to Hike a Mountain Top in the Rainforest

I live and work at the Ann Wigmore Natural Health Institute in Puerto Rico.  It's been a month, and I'll be here for two or three more.  I find very similar patterns of the environment here and myself as I did when I worked at the Creative Health Institute, or CHI, in Michigan last summer: The energy can fluctuate rapidly!  While working at a living foods health institute, it is very easy to go from soaring energy to bitter exhaustion in a short amount of time at unsuspecting intervals.  For me, The soaring energy comes from the rich health and nutrition of living foods.  This helps support the long work hours.  The increase in energy often leads to feeling great, trying to do too much, and then over doing it.  I work a lot, I exercise a lot, I read a lot, I think a lot, I want to be awake a lot... Then I forget to sleep a lot and the exhaustion sets in.  Then I rest, recover, repeat.

While all of this takes place, the guests go through their own experience:  Many are here for the 2 week program where they learn the living foods lifestyle and eat a 100% raw living foods diet.  Many are also new to the lifestyle.  This means at some point their body will begin to detox significantly.  When you eat well- for us that means raw living foods that are densely nutritious and easily digestible- you allow your body to detox more rapidly and productively.

Your body always tries to detoxify itself, naturally.  Although you may consume 100% pure organic food with no pesticides, hormones, or toxins, you will still intake toxic substances from unavoidable sources such as the air you breathe, some tap water, etc.  And some may be choosing to use avoidable substances like unnatural hygiene products, make-up, etc.  Even if you have been eating a high living foods diet for sometime, you will continue to detox, perhaps significantly from time to time.  A few detox symptoms include fatigue, lightheadedness, and irritability.

As a staff member, the challenge is trying to prevent myself from the often inevitable:  When your own symptoms of exhaustion align with the guests detoxing experience.  An occasional scenario for me is not sleeping much, working an exhausting 8-9 hour shift, where, regardless of your hard work, a few guests or more will be unhappy because they've been fasting on the same energy soup for a few days.  

I do understand how the guests feel, but it may not make it any easier.  I did a similar 2 week detox with energy soup fasting at CHI last summer.  I couldn't palette or look at energy soup by the third day.  Over a long duration though, the alkalizing high greens diet will alter the pH of your body while altering your taste buds.  I typically crave energy soup now.  It's a nutritional craving instead of a junk food craving.  While it is very difficult for any of the guests to believe that, it is also difficult for me to process the perceived lack of gratitude.  (Note:  By the end of the 2 weeks, guests typically feel better, joyous, and are very grateful!)

Exhaustion + Perceived Lack of Gratitude = Frustration.  When this frustration starts to set in, it's difficult to process the minute favors and requests that are often asked of you.  Since I basically live next to the kitchen, in the same building, these requests also come in frequently when I'm "off the clock" as well.  With this frustration, I essentially forget how grateful I am to be here in good health in Puerto Rico.  And that is unfortunate.  At this point, it is important to get off the grounds of the institute and take a day trip if my work schedule aligns.  However, it is also difficult to get around Puerto Rico without a car.  Riding a bicycle is kind of scary because the roads are narrow and poor, the drivers are crazy and there are several accidents.

BEGIN AWESOME ADVENTURE + RENEWAL OF GRATITUDE:

I get off work Saturday night and go out with some of the guests to a bomba in the nearby town of Isabella.  One of the guests is Kimberly Snyder, author of The Beauty Detox Solution.  I had the pleasure to hang with Kim and get to know her a bit.  It's hardly been a year since I started making major lifestyle changes in terms of the food from which I make my body and the exercise from which I play with my body.  Since I'm still trying new things, it's reaffirming to see Kim, a nutritionist in high demand from Hollywood's top A-List talent- it seems I'm making pretty good decisions. 

I am grateful for the many interesting and inspiring guests like Kim that come to AWNHI.

At the bomba, Kim and I play pool at the bar.

I am grateful that the pool table only costs one quarter!  I've never seen billiards this cheap in the states.

The bomba is awesome!

I am grateful for the incredible drummers!  Truly amazing!

On the way home, Kim and I think of getting out and going to El Yunque rainforest which is about a 2.5-3 hour drive.  We need to rent a car.

It costs about $25-35 to rent a car for the day.  However, it's a $40 one-way taxi to get to the car rental.  $80 in cab fare to rent a $25 car.  It's a waste of money on principle.  The next day I suggest a plan:

I WILL RUN 13 MILES TO THE AIRPORT AND RENT THE CAR!  BOOM!

I go to bed later then planned, about 11pm.  I wake at 3am.  I put on my shoes, my headlamp.  I fill my water bottle.  I put my license, credit card, and $5 in my bottle hand strap.  I get on the road about 3:30 am and start running.

I run roads for a few miles.  I run down the beach for several miles.  I stop at a river entering the ocean.  I choose to have water instead of sand in my shoes.  I run the beach some more, shoes soaked.  I cross a second river.  I run on the boardwalk where I pass the occasional late night lovers, sobering up from the early night.  I run through a field.  I stop.  I pet a beautiful horse, tide to a tree, alone.  I say goodbye, step in some of its shit, and continue running.  No worries.  The shit will fall off in a few miles.  I run a few miles up steep hills.  Enter a storm.  It pours for 20-30 minutes.  I'm soaked.  I find minor shelter under a billboard.  It's almost 5:30am; the time of my reservation.  I call the car rental.  In Spanish, I tell them I'm 15 minutes late: The first time I really communicate my needs fully in Spanish.  It's a start.  I run past planes at the airport.  I reach my destination.  I get the car.  Freedom of feet.  Freedom of car.

6am - Alive + Awake after 13 mile run and shower.

I drive back.  I pickup Kim.  We take a shot of wheatgrass.  Off to El Yunque.  About an hour on the road I have a banana, papaya, chia seed, almond milk smoothie.  Kim has energy soup.  There's a brown-out of sorts and several traffic lights aren't working.  Free form traffic guidance.  We stop at a few fast food places on the way.  We certainly DON'T buy their food.  But we donate our own waste into their public restrooms.  We get to El Yunque in about 3 hours with traffic and after I pass the entrance road once.  The road maps and signage are poor at times.  We pick up a trail map, we drink fresh coconuts, eat oranges, and start to explore.

It's lush.  It's green.  It's vibrant.  The fresh air.  The soothing sound of waterfalls.  The cheerful sound of coqui frogs.  The chirps of birds, hidden in the private tree canopy.

I am grateful.

We hike to the top of El Yunque.  About 4 hours round trip, taking time for photos.  At the top, fog and clouds.  We wait to see if it will clear.  Not this time.  We hike back down to exit the park by 6pm.

On the way back, we stop in Old San Juan.  We explore the beautiful town.  We grab a coconut and I get a dark chocolate walnut snack.  We chat.  We head back, return the car, taxi back and return at midnight.  Long day!

HIGH-FIVE ADVENTURE!  HIGH-FIVE PUERTO RICO!  HIGH-FIVE GRATITUDE!

I forget all earlier said frustration.  I am grateful for my feet and where they have taken me.  I am grateful to rest and sleep in the next day.

© Marty Stano