Change in Happiness: "What the Hell Am I Doing with My Life?"

[Wikipedia says, "The smiley face is a well-known symbol of happiness."  However, how to find happiness itself seems to be less well-known...]

I think a majority of us at some time may pose the question in one form or the other, "What the hell am I doing with my life?"  At least I do.  You may ask that question everyday... or perhaps when checking off one of those life mile stones: Graduate from high school, graduate from college, get a job...

I find that most post-college graduates pose this question somewhat frequently.  At least I did when I graduated from a significant college (University of Michigan) without a significant job, nor a significant other... That question came frequently on weekend mornings when I was still recounting my attendance at college parties...

"What the hell am I doing with my life?"  The question itself asks about the present:  What "am I doing" now?  Well, I am writing a blog post now.  But, that's not what I'm doing with my life- at least I hope not.  So, this question seems to be a reflection on one's present, while asking oneself what to do with their future...

The key verb of the question is DO.  The underlying premise of the question is that there is something to do in life.  I don't know if that's completely true but I'd like to think so...  So then, what do you do?

First off, to have a life with a future, you must survive the present.  If you do want to survive, then there are things you must do like drink water, eat food, find shelter, and maybe make time for sleep.  Okay... so what else is there to do in life?  Well, if you're thinking further into the future, that is, the future of you as a species, then you must find a mate, do that mate, and reproduce.

That is is pretty much what most animals do with their lives.

I'm not really sure what humans do with their lives, or rather, what they should do... But, it does seem that most of us need to do more than animals...

And so we did.

One of the biggest things to do for an animal is to eat food.  To eat food, they go around and find it.  Humans use to do this too.  But within the last few thousand years, a majority of human culture changed all that.  Agriculture was introduced, then industrialization came and the majority of land was now owned or claimed.  If you tried to find food or water on the land, now known as property, an owner could rightfully shoot you dead and you would no longer have anything to do.

So you see, over a few thousand years, the majority of humans changed one of the essential things that they must do, that is, find food.  This was the thing to do for humans for hundreds of thousands of years.

Skipping over several evolutionary and cultural details: The great majority of food is no longer found it is bought. Yes, of course you know this.  Nearly everyone buys food.  But, this brought a new thing we must do within our discussion of what to do in life.  To have a life, the thing you must do is survive.  To survive, the big thing to do is eat food.  The majority of us must buy food to eat.  So, to eat, you need money.

So the new thing we must do now is find money.  And because you usually can't find more then a few coins on the ground, the thing we must do is get a job.

I still believe that you don't need a job to survive and there are small groups of people and individuals who continue to prove this... But for the sake of this discussion and mass culture we'll say you do.

The question again, "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

We know what we must do in order to have a life: survive.  But the question is not, "What the hell am I doing with my life to survive?"  People already know how to survive, at least to some degree.  I certainly wasn't waking up black out drunk on a stranger's couch in college wondering, "How am I going to eat today?"  I was really wondering if I would be content to do this day after day...

So we should rephrase the question: "What the hell am I doing with my life to be happy?"

Now that makes the question even more difficult.  Survival is a big thing, but happiness is huge!  That's what most of us want right?  To be happy.

So what do you do to be happy?

There are many things to do that bring happiness to certain people: love, share, act, create, compete, play, build, imagine, dance, listen... to name a few.

But, no one can know what you should do to be happy except for you.  And there's always a good chance that you don't know either.  I know I'm not certain for myself.  No single person is the same, so what works for person X may not work for person Y.

But we do know there are things we must do to survive: drink, eat, sleep, work a job (maybe...).  So why not start with that:  Enjoy drinking, enjoy eating, enjoy sleeping, and enjoy your job!

A 1/3 of the average life is spent sleeping, another 1/3 spent working, and the last 1/3 is spent eating, drinking, and a few electives or hobbies.

If you cannot be happy with the things you must do, then you may have a difficult time finding happiness with the electives...

You may be thinking you've heard this a dozen times, "Do what you love," or, "Enjoy your job."  But that is not what I'm trying to say here.  What if you don't have a job or haven't found what you love?  Then, you may not have anything to really do... except survive... if you want to, which I hope so.

What I am saying is this:  STOP doing everything that doesn't make you happy. Period.  No excuses.  Then, maybe you can find happiness.

If you're not happy with your job, stop it right now.  You can be nice and give a 2 weeks notice, but don't wait any longer.  If you are not happy with you're college classes, drop them.  Don't take any of those "back up" courses or majors to "fall back on" just because your parents wanted you to.  If any parent asks that you study something you don't want to, they do not have your best interests in mind and that is completely unacceptable.  A parent that asks their child to study something they don't want to is saying, "I don't care about your happiness, I only care about your survival."  Animals are able to survive, but humans want something more... or so it seems...

Some may argue that certain people or themselves are destined to be unhappy.  I would like to think that's not true... but I understand, unfortunately, that very difficult circumstances beyond ones control can exist.  However, I would think the majority of people in the world have the power to take control of their happiness.

A lot of us may be misled in our pursuit of happiness by mythic cultural dreams.  The big one in America is: Start at the bottom, and work your way up!  This myth may work for the functioning of an economic system but it doesn't really work for an individual's happiness.  I think a lot of people are realizing this after the recent economic depression.

Certain religions may also mislead us in the pursuit of happiness.  They may contextualize certain happiness as sin while preaching the delay of gratification and the acquisition of wealth as noble.  I'll spare further details to spare a religious argument...

So, "What the hell am I doing with my life?"

I'll continue to ask this question of myself... these thoughts are just my own reflection and I'm not sure if I made any progress...  I don't really intend to tell anyone else what to do except myself.  I'm concerned with my own survival and the survival of my own happiness.  That is the only person I can be responsible for.  However, I do hope that my thoughts and consequent actions may contribute to the survival of happiness elsewhere.

[Comments always appreciated.]