Changing Since 1997: Notes from My 5th Grade Self

I will be flying to Chile in 3 days.  I will be volunteering with the English Opens Doors Program teaching English in the southern Bio-Bio region.  (Google Chile Bio-Bio and check out the images = RAD.)

Before that, I must finish editing a crazy music video I directed, sell a bunch of my stuff to have adequate funds, and configure my life into a single large backpack.

I have a one-way ticket and not sure how long I'll be gone.  My position is for 5 months but I plan to backpack and explore a significant time afterwards.  

I'm preparing myself for nearly any condition since I'll be experiencing cool winters in the south and will eventually explore desserts, mountains, jungles, and more later during the summer.

I am also going to explore becoming a travel documentary filmmaker and photographer and how to shoot in these various conditions while moving with a single backpack.

Packing and preparing has been quite the challenge as my mind mulls over the utility, versatility, and weight of each item.  I believe I have nearly acquired everything I think I need.  I will find out in the next day or two whether or not I can fit everything I think I need in my backpack.

I've experienced a much higher lever of stress than normal the past week.  I'm feeling better though as I check off my last minute To-Do items (vaccinations, dentist, etc...).

I think part of that stress is mentally preparing for a really big new chapter in my life.  I don't know exactly what it is, but it goes beyond the volunteer position.  Once again, I've done another purge of my decreasing amount of physical possessions which I store in a nook at my sisters.  A nook is a space under the basement stairs and not a small technological device from which many people read many books.

I find myself becoming more vigilant of getting rid of stuff and ignoring the notion of "Maybe I'll need it one day."  I've realized that by the time I need "it" again, I can get a new one.  I find this notion can sometimes translate beyond the physical to the mental thoughts and I consider what thoughts I hold onto and what thoughts are holding me back...

But I'm not gonna take that tangent.  Instead I want to share some old school papers I found during this physical purge.  While looking them over, I reflected on what ideas, traits, etc may define me now that were present with my younger self.

The first document is a worksheet titled, "All About Me," written by my 5th grade self in 1997:

1.  Physical Description  Short, Fast, Strong, Big

2.  Favorite Food  Pizza

3.  Least Favorite Food  Egg Rolls

4.  Favorite Place to Visit  Toys "R" Us

5.  Favorite Book  Franklin the Turtle

6.  A happy day in my life was when...  My soccer team took 1st place in a tournament

7.  A sad day in my life was when...  I got in big trouble

8.  Favorite Movie  Jurassic Park

9.  If I could change anything in the world, I would...  Change Pollution

10.  Soccer makes me happy.

11.  Some day I would like to... Win the lottery

12.  I often worry about... Not having my room clean

13.  I feel good at school when... I do great on a test

14.  If I could trade places with any one in the world, I would trade with nobody

15.  My favorite animal is my dog Shadow

16.  I think a good role model for me is My mom

I will now retake the worksheet as a 25 year old:

1.  Physical Description  Tall, Slim, Athletic Build, Smiling

2.  Favorite Food  Various smoothies I make for myself

3.  Least Favorite Food  Most meat and dairy

4.  Favorite Place to Visit  Hmmm... Michigan.  Ann Arbor in the summertime with friends and family. Western Michigan and the Upper Peninsula.  But perhaps only to visit and not to live...

5.  Favorite Book  Ishmael, Born to Run, The Dharma Bums, The Secret

6.  A happy day in my life was when...  I paid off my student loans.  All of summer of 2008, 2009. 2010, 2011... I guess I really like summer.

7.  A sad day in my life was when...  Several winter days in Michigan.  A pet rabbit named Charmander died and we had him cremated.

8.  Favorite Movie  2001: A Space Odyssey, This is England, Gummo, Ken Park, In the Mood for Love, The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

9.  If I could change anything in the world, I would...  keep changing myself and assist lifestyle change of the global population to direct individuals towards health, happiness, and fulfillment.  What might that entail?  Not sure.  But probably make things more simple: work, food, needs, daily life...

10.  Friends, Family, Love, and Sunshine make me happy.

11.  Some day I would like to... Live off the grid with my lover, family, and/or friends

12.  I often worry about... Not having enough time to do

13.  I feel good at school when... it doesn't require money or a test

14.  If I could trade places with any one in the world, I would trade with nobody

15.  My favorite animals are Alaskan Husky, Sea Turtles, Tigers, Pandas, Koalas

16.  I think a good role model for me is My mom, Dos Equis' "Most Interesting Man," and that crazy naked person that just outran the cops

Next up is a document of books I checked out from the library for the accelerated reader program in 1997:

- 3 different titles of The Magic School Bus

- Where the Wild Things Are...

- The Haunted Mask

- Song and Dance Man

- Let's Get Invisible!

- The Grouchy Ladybug

Very interesting!  I feel like some of these titles may be well below 5th grade reading level.  But I do recall getting free candy if you got a perfect score per book test... and I do love candy!

Next up is math document:

It contains 23 long division problems.  15 of the problems are blank (maybe I wrote on a separate sheet of paper, maybe not) and the remaining 8 I wrote "Skip" under them.

Perhaps I knew at a young age that I should just use the calculator in my desk and that long division is a waste.

The next document is a worksheet titled, "Life on Earth Decision-Making Frame."  It has 3 boxes that I filled out from which I received a blue star:

Question Box:  Is there life everywhere on Earth?

Important Info:  Parts of Antarctica there are no life.  Like in the coldest part and in the water there is no life.  The deepest part of the ocean is unexplored.  Parts of the desert are also unexplored.

Decision Box:  No there is not!

This was interesting and I like the title.  I think University's should give out a similar worksheet with your diploma when you graduate.  Perhaps a "Life on Earth After College Decision-Making Frame" and one tailored to those who study the liberal arts, have little chance employment, and no clear direction for life on Earth.

I must say that I am disappointed my teacher didn't tell me when I was wrong.  It took me more than a decade later to realize there are microscopic worms and organisms that live in arctic and antarctic ice.  Knowing that would have been much cooler than getting a blue star on my paper.

I apparently made decisions with exclamation points when I was 10 years old.  What self confidence!  I think we all should make greater efforts to make decisions in our lives with exclamation points.  If it turns out we're wrong, who cares!  At least we'll know there is Life on Earth and really cool worms that live in the ice.

I also found this document interesting since I have considered working in Antarctica within the last 3 months.  I met someone in Puerto Rico whose daughter's best friend is a baker on one of the science bases!  A frickin' baker in Antarctica!  That's crazy, right?!  Well, I guess scientists have to eat.

Before you write me off as crazy, which I may very well be, I will give you my romanticized logic:

- I am most inspired to learn when I surround myself with new environments, people, communities.

- In college I was surrounded by some people that wanted to change the world and some people that wanted to drink a lot and not figure out how to keep the world spinning.  For several years post-college I was surround by a lot of my liberal arts filmmaking friends.  Within the last year, I've surrounded myself by new age kinda people and ideas which has inspired me to learn and take control of my health while doing things I once thought incapable.  I will be surrounded by a totally new environment and people in Chile and will be inspired to learn the language and culture.  Who and what else can I surround myself with to learn?  What about scientists?  Yes scientists!

- I realized in Puerto Rico that I really do enjoy working in the greenhouse and partaking in the growth of my own food.  I was at peace outside.

- I am considering grad school to learn a new subject or interest.  But I wouldn't do it if that required I reenter education loans and debt.  I think debt is counter-intuitive to life.  If you think that is a radical statement to make that is okay.  I won't explain myself now.  I would rather be radical and skateboard and eat pizza.

- What better way to learn while being surrounded by scientists and working in a greenhouse in one of the harshest environments on Earth?

- And perhaps surrounding myself by scientists could be one route to finding the dream job or work as a travel or environmental filmmaker.  National Geographic here I come.

So maybe after Chile I'll be in Antarctica.  Right now it's just a fun idea twirling around in my head.  Being physically closer to Antarctica makes it twirl a little more.

---

If you have any insight or reflections from 1997, 5th grade, or Antarctica, please leave me a comment on the post.  I'm interested to hear where you were then.

[And instead of editing, packing, or sleeping,  I spend an hour writing and thinking about ice worms.  Sometimes I just don't know where I'm going... physically or mentally...]

Change of Place. Back in Michigan. Change of Diet?

Well, I'm back in Michigan staying with my folks for a month before moving to Chile.

Before I left Puerto Rico and the Ann Wigmore Natural Health Institute, Kelly came to visit me.  We spent a week driving around the coast exploring the island.  We took the ferry from Fajardo and went to the island of Culebra for a few nights.  The beaches and snorkeling was fantastic!  Lot's of sea turtles!  

I really love Puerto Rico:  Its people, mountains, rain forests, beaches and its tropical produce.

I really love its tropical produce!  The coconuts, bananas, papayas, oranges, limes, grapefruit, avocados, mangos, watermelons, and more... 

However, I was really happy to eat an apple yesterday, or rather, several apples.  It's tough to find a good organic apple shipped to PR.  I needed a separation from Michigan to realize how much I love and appreciate simple things like apples, cherries, berries, etc...

I will now miss the tropical foods very much.  Anyone who hung out with me in PR may attest to the vast amount of bananas I ate.   I believe I could beat anyone in a banana eating contest.  The PR bananas and varieties are SO GOOD.  One banana that I believe they called "apple banana" has a berry like flavor that would sometimes make me feel like I was eating strawberry shortcake or a similar desert- just the banana!  Brilliant!

While traveling around PR, it was difficult to find good greens whenever I left the institute where we were growing greens ourselves.  So, I usually resorted to a high fruitarian diet.  The best place to buy fruit is not from the supermarkets but from all the fruit stands that are set up daily on busy roads.

While visiting a beach one day, I stood out like a total foreigner as I ate watermelon.  Although I was the only white kid on the beach- tanned white kid that is- it was my watermelon that was drawing attention.  I cut it half and scooped it out with a spoon.  A young group of locals started talking to me and thought it was funny how I ate the watermelon like a bowl.  I'm not sure if it was just the way I was eating it that was weird or if eating watermelon on the beach in general is weird...  We communicated a bit with our little understanding and speaking of English and Spanish.  It was nice. 

Although I was able to use Puerto Rico's abundant raw tropical fruit to create a healthy diet for myself, I found this contrasted with much of the island both culturally and economically.  Unfortunately, there is an abundant amount of fast food in Puerto Rico.  Traditional bakeries are everywhere serving nutritionally lacking products of refined sugars and flours.  Food carts and trucks are parked on every street and corner serving fried meats, plantains (tostones) and other foods.  Obesity is very common and it seems like fry oils are as imbedded in the current culture as it is in the cells and pores of the people.

---

I thought about food and health a lot while I was in Puerto Rico:  What foods do I like most?  Eat most?  What fuels me best for my particular body type and activity?  Where do these foods come from?  

I recall reading a nutrition book that challenged me with a radical suggestion that sounded something like this:

The majority of your food should come from fresh local seasonal produce.  Perhaps you should MOVE to the region whose produce and growing season suits your diet and needs.

Woah!  This idea may seem far out but it makes intuitive sense to me.  

From my little bit of studies and experience, I think that diets and health use to be very traditional.   People adapted to the available and abundant food sources of their geographic region.  For example, a high consumption of seal, whale, salmon for Alaskan eskimos.  High consumption of fish, rice, and sea vegetables in Japan and coastal regions.  Corn and chia staples for the Tarahumara tribe of Mexico.  Perhaps high fruitarian diet for the tropics...

Perhaps particular people have physically adapted to better digest and perform with foods of that region as well, or perhaps sought the food that suited their needs best.  For example, the Tarahumara is known for being a running tribe and their diet includes chia seed that has the property to retain water for a longer period of time when soaked, which is important for hydration in hot climates.  I haven't studied any of this enough though to really know...  

When I say adapt, I mean to eat to really live healthily and not just survive but thrive.  In terms of Puerto Rico, I cannot believe that the people have adapted because they thrive best on a high diet of fried foods.  Obesity doesn't seem essential for thriving in the tropics whereas it may be for insulation and survival in the Arctic. 

Right now, I do believe there is no optimal universal diet.  That belief relies on the premise that I couldn't recommend a high tropical fruit diet for an eskimo that lives in freezing temperatures.  It simply isn't possible, at least naturally.

Although if a universal diet is possible, I think it would include a very high quantity of GREENS.  The Ann Wigmore Living Foods Lifestyle is created in a very SIMPLE way in terms of ingredients for a universal approach to health and healing.  The main staples are sprouts and greens along with sprouted nuts, seeds, fruits, veggies and fermented foods.  I believe there is much truth to the Living Foods Lifestyle in which you can then add or tweak foods for your own personal needs. 

Bananas are probably one of the biggest staples in my diet because they are my go-to base for breakfast smoothies.  There are very few days when my breakfast is not a smoothie.  My typical smoothie in Puerto Rico would contain some combination of bananas, almond milk, rejuvelac, chia seed, avocado, coconut, sprouted buckwheat groats, sunflower greens, mixed greens, carob, mango, or papaya.

Now that I'm back in Michigan, I'm thinking of how I may rework my smoothie a bit more for this region... however, I'll probably still eat a good amount of bananas for now, even though they don't taste as great.

---

Perhaps I am may be best suited to live in a tropical region.  However, I'm not gonna settle yet.  I'm gonna keep traveling and exploring:  Looking for the geography, the community, the food, the fun and everything else in life that suits me best.

I'm not saying I'm gonna settle in the tropics one day just for a banana.  Food is very important to me, but there are plenty of other aspects aside from a year round growing season that support the lifestyle I'm creating:  Lots of sunshine, barefoot running on the beach, the fresh air by the sea, the latin music and percussion.  I love the idea of living in a thatch tree house that I make myself...  I love the fact that I just spent the first winter in a long time where I didn't experience a fair to significant amount of seasonal depression during winter in Michigan.  The only thing I really missed was friends and family.  But, just like fruit, I realize by separation how much I appreciate them! 

Change of Place: Coming Home and Heading Out

Okay!  Here is my exciting personal news!  It was a rainy day in Puerto Rico, I've been taking classes last week and this week to receive my Living Foods Lifestyle certificate, I'm still working full time, and preparing to leave the Ann Wigmore Natural Health Institute (for now)... so I'm exhausted.  The video may not express my excitement as well as I would like... but I'm excited!!!

(P.S. I'm becoming conscious of my "And" fillers and am working to remove those for more concise videos when I'm too tired or lazy to edit.)

Making Change: The Documentary Thrive - Challenging Ideas, Questions, Answers, Solutions

The documentary film Thrive was released a few weeks ago for free on Youtube.  Watch the trailer above and the full film below.  I really do hope you'll live 2 hours of your life watching this.  I think it's important.  And there are few things I find important.  Maybe it will change your life.  Or maybe you'll change your life.  Find out more about the Thrive movement on the website.

----------------------------

The description of my blog in the top left corner there has stayed pretty consistent even though my blog itself is all about CHANGE.  Maybe that means CHANGE is a consistent process that is always CHANGING.

I don't know.

My blog description says, "It contains a variety of stuff I don't fully understand and probably never will..."  This is still very true.  But, I just lived 2 hours of my life to watch Thrive the documentary which provides some very good explanations for some of the questions I've been asking of both my life and life in general.

I sometimes find it really hard to identify or connect with humans and the world.  I sometimes feel crazy or alone with some of the ideas that swirl in my head.  I've been working on making positive change in my life but am always confused by how to make positive change in the world.  That step usually introduces concepts like politics, economics, or other things that get people so charged up... And the concept of politics and economics themselves do not make sense to me.

With American politics, I never understand why there are only 2 political parties or sets of major beliefs and why we have to vote on one or the other.  I cannot identify with either.  I also can never understand why people who choose to identify with a particular group hold onto those beliefs so rigidly as though it is necessary for their survival.  I do identify with Darwinism, evolution, adaptation, change, and survival of the fittest.  That makes sense to me.  It's a system that nature created.  Change is natural.  Everything changes.  But man created politics which is an unnatural and very complex system where the concept of "survival of the fittest" is distorted.

At times, it's also hard for me to understand beliefs just as a general concept.  It seems that when beliefs never change, people may attach a certain sense of pride to holding them.  And in many cases, this may work well.  It gives a sense of reliability, security, and predictability to actions that may be useful.  But what if you chose a wrong belief in the beginning but you didn't know better?  And the pride in holding that belief has now dug you into a big hole that will be tough to climb out of without 'losing face' among your peers.  What if it's not only your peers but your family?  I experienced an example of this:

Simply put:  Two close family members of mine were living their lives in a way that one older family member did not believe in.  It was a very strong belief associated to religion.  The belief was strong enough that it escalated to an argument with another close family member who was then "banned" from the believer's house and family.  The believer cited during their argument how many years they had stood up for what they believed in as though it was a justification.

But it never made sense to me.  I cannot justify supporting a belief or idea over a family member.  I could never understand religion, really.  I can understand the joy getting together once a week, singing, having a continental breakfast and planning community events.  But, I cannot understand how religion has created so much division, wars and killing among so many people in the history of mankind.  

I don't believe in religion, but I very much believe in spirituality and am on a path of exploring that.  I do believe in family.  I do believe in love.

Beliefs can be very powerful.  But to change your beliefs is even more powerful.

And the economy.  Wow!  That certainly does not make sense to me.  I got stiffed on one of the worst freelance jobs I ever did.  The company never paid me and after months of emails, I finally receive an explanation, "Due to the poor economy... we are unable to pay you at this time. "  What?  What do you mean?  What does the economy have to do with this?  How am I suppose to make sense of that?  Does that really work?  Can I just start telling people, bill collectors, banks, and the government that I simply cannot pay them back at the time due to the poor economy?

When it comes to the economy, I simply wish I didn't need to participate.  When I graduated from college, the one truth I did know was that I needed to pay off my loans right away so that I could be free.  Free from debt.  Free to choose what job I wanted and not have to worry about its pay.  Free to be in control of my own life and not have my choices be influenced by fear of not having enough money.  Free to explore a life worth living.  I've spent half of the past year doing work exchange: I don't receive any money, but I have a bed and healthy nourishing food, and I don't have many stresses of bills etc.  The only time I worry about money is when I need to get to the next place.  I've been much happier living this way.

Now that I've been taking control of my health and realize how important natural food and nutrition are to preventing and healing serious illnesses and cancers... I have even more questions:

Why is so much time, money, and resources spent on cancer research when I see so many personal witnesses come through these natural health centers and either make dramatic improvements or heal themselves completely of cancer and other illnesses?  What is all this find a cure talk about?  Why is little to no nutritional classes and education required for medical degrees?  Why are doctors telling my grandparents that they cannot eat too many greens because it will thicken their blood?  Why is organic produce more expensive?  Why are non-organic methods even used still when it's known that organic farming methods maximize nutrients while preserving and recycling natural resources?  Why do we spend so much water, produce, time, and resources to raise a mass amount of animal meat products that only give us derivative nutrition while severely polluting our natural resources?  Why do I only remember eating beef and cheese nachos everyday during middle school with a quarter cup of iceberg lettuce and tablespoons of italian dressing?  How is it possible for a large agricultural company to patent corn seeds and nature and sue other farmers for intellectual property theft when their seeds blow naturally in the wind onto their neighboring property?

If you wonder any of these same questions, or wonder what your doing with your life, or what you should do... maybe you should watch this film.  Ask questions about yourself, your life, and what you want life to be.  Don't accept it as it is because life is always changing and you have the power to make the change you want to see in the world.

A lot of my questions and developing ideas were aligned while watching this film.  There were also many ideas introduced that really challenged my ideas and understanding.  The end of the film does provides some positive directions and solutions for the future.  Check it out.  I'm curious to know what you think.

Career Change: Dream Travel Job. Yes.

Hello Dear Readers,

Over the years I have traveled here and there while shooting photos and video while thinking:

Maybe one day I can be a travel filmmaker and do assignments for National Geographic or something...

But how?

Well, Viator.com has created a window of opportunity to becoming a travel videographer with their Dream Travel Job contest.  I created a video entry for Kelly and I.  They are looking for 2 more travelers or filmmakers to go on a 60 day, 20 cities, travel adventure and document it.  All expenses paid.  Not only would this be awesome, it would open doors for more travel assignments.

So please, check out my video entry and vote for it.  You need to be signed into your Facebook account and "Like" the Viator page in order to see the video.  The Vote button is bottom-left under the video.  You can vote once a day!  Thanks!

WATCH AND VOTE HERE!  THANKS!!!

Peace!

-Marty

Letting Go: Change at Work. Change of Control

[This is partly a response to my earlier post about my frustration and failure in first attempting to shoot a commercial in Puerto Rico.]

The last month in Puerto Rico flew by with lots of changes!  First off, I successfully shot a commercial in Puerto Rico!  It's a fun surf spot produced for a contest held by a brand of whisky.  I applied the lessons learned from my first failed attempt at making a commercial here:  I sought out reliable non-actor locals and gave myself plenty of time to shoot it while anticipating delays, cancelations, and/or reshoots.

I cast two surfers who I met on the beach to play father and son.  The "father" is the owner of a surf shop and the "son" was an employee.  I cast the two because they looked the part and there was already a natural chemistry between them from working together.  This meant I would be able to use less energy on trying to direct a performance.  I approached the project very much like a documentary which was a change from my recent work.  There was very little staging and very few takes.  I basically gave them simple actions to do and I would watch them and capture different moments and angles I found interesting.  

I was a one man crew with all my cameras and lenses in a backpack with a tripod strapped on the side.  It was very empowering to know that I could carry everything I needed to make a commercial in one backpack with my own two feet.  Larger productions can get so complicated once you start adding tons of gear, people, etc.  This was liberating.  Everything was shot daylight exterior so there was no need for lights which I didn't have a budget for.  A few times I used the white bottom of a body board to bounce the sunlight.

One of the most rewarding parts was just hanging out with the surfers, getting to know them, and becoming friends.

Over the past month, I've humbled myself a bit while learning to "let go" and not attempt to control so many things that are beyond me.  During the commercial shoot, I had no control whether it would rain or not or whether the swell would come in and the waves would suffice.  I also had to adapt to "Caribbean Time" where nothing or no one exists on a set schedule.  There were three days where we were suppose to shoot that fell through... luckily I was the only crew member and I had to just accept it, not stress over it, and say to myself, "Okay, I guess we'll shoot tomorrow."

The great thing about it all was that everything seemed to work out perfectly as I let go of control.  We got the waves, we got the sun, we got the shots and everything we needed in time and it all happened right before the owner caught the flu.

When I arrived in PR, I started looking for ways to make some extra travel money.  After the commercial, the one employee left to take a commercial fishing job in New York.  Now with an employee gone, and being sick with the flu, the owner who I became friends with asked me to work at the surf shack.  And thus the universe provided!

Working @ the Surf Shack is a pretty good gig.  The only real work is running 6 miles on the beach there and back everyday.

I had a really busy week while the owner was sick.  I was working in the kitchen at the health center and at the surf shack nearly every day.  I worked a 60 hour week while commuting 6 miles a day via barefoot running on the beach.  I was exhausted.

I've had some time now to rest and recover a bit.

I've adapted better to the Caribbean and am much happier with this new perspective of giving up control.  That's not to say I don't make plans and have optimistic intentions for outcomes... But rather, I don't stress or get too hung up when nature, people, or other things happen that are beyond me.  I realized I was some gringo trying to bring a whole different attitude from the film industry with expectations and scheduling that simply don't fly too well in Puerto Rico.

Also, the Surf Shack is right next to the yoga studio where I tried to cast the two people that flaked on me in the earlier failed commercial attempt.  That failure and my earlier expectations aside, they are totally nice and cool people and I see them on a daily basis.  No more hard feelings.

Now that I've changed a bit, I recognize other people who attend the health institute who bring similar expectations from busy city life.  They too would be better off if they let go a bit.

For example, the power frequently goes out here for long durations while storms pass through.  The last power outage lasted about 36 hours.  During these times I have to run the generator for a bit to power the kitchen and prepare meals.  One woman complained to me that the generator was very loud and inappropriate for the nature of the institute... She said we need to have a "sound barrier."

Really?  Are you serious?  You want me to make a sound barrier?

I simply apologized politely for the inconvenience.  But in my head, I'm blown away by her non-constructive feedback.  What does she expect?  My only two options are to run the generator and prepare her meal, or allow her to enjoy silence and solitude which will require her to fast.  I cannot control nature and its storms.  I cannot control power outages.  I cannot build a silent generator nor quickly organize a crew of volunteers to help me build a "sound barrier."  Come on lady!  Let go!

Although it's frustrating working without power in the kitchen, I don't mind doing without power, internet, and sufficient water pressure for a while on my own.  But this is really hard for city people...

Another lady was very sassy when we ran out of papaya.  I told her I'm sorry but the only papaya I have left isn't ripe yet.  In my head: There's some parts of nature I simply cannot control.  And I'm sure the papaya would ignore any verbal requests to ripen faster on my behalf.

Last week I started working in the greenhouse too!  I haven't practiced growing much of my own food which is one of my intentions this year.  I love it in the greenhouse and I'm learning a lot:  For example, don't wear flip flops while shoveling compost because ants will bust out with no mercy and leave you with the itchiest of bites on your foot.  Growing the wheatgrass and sunflower sprouts takes about 6-8 days so we always have to prepare for groups far in advance.  We have to be very careful because we run low at times and can't make nature grow any faster: Another lesson of control.

What I like most about the greenhouse is the occasional fresh coconut break.  The other day one of the workers chopped a bunch of cocos with a machete for each of us.  A fresh coconut water break is much healthier and cooler than the typical cigarette break most people have at work.  The world would be much better off if we replaced all cigarettes with coconuts.  I can picture myself now walking outside of a bar and a hipster asking me for a cigarette at which point I reply smugly, "No dude.  Just a coco..." And I pull out a machete and chop the coconut right in front of their face!  They then walk away with their tail between their legs realizing how uncool cigarettes are and how cool machetes and cocos are! Boom!

So, if you find yourself getting too stressed out... Maybe you should let go of some control... Or have a coconut... It helps!

Changing My Approach to Filmmaking: Explore, Experiment, Reflect, Change, Retry, Results?

Man!!!

I'm excited!  I'm working on an idea for a future film project that I think is going to be freaking awesome!  Today, I finally rendered some preliminary results and was ecstatic after seeing the potential!  Unfortunately for you, I can't share any of the results yet, but I wanted to write about the experience.

Regarding the part of my life as a filmmaker- I don't even know if I'd call it my career yet- I feel like I haven't really been learning since I graduated from film school.  That's not entirely true, but my process or approach to filmmaking certainly changed then and has become rather stale.

In film school, everything I was seeing and doing was new.  I was learning.  I had the time to experiment with new ideas, try anything, fail, reflect, try something different.  There were no clients involved or money to be made.  Most importantly, the end result often didn't matter.  It was all about learning and taking time in the process.  And that made the process very rewarding at the personal level.

Since graduating, I learned a lot about the film industry and have made advancements in my writing and directorial work.  But in retrospect, my process to filmmaking now feels stagnant.  I realized, for the most part, I've been playing it safe.  For the majority of my work, I've been producing films for a client or for compensation with an end result in mind and a deadline to be met.  Although it can still be a creative process, it is not an artistic process.

I realize this is why I often think of myself as a creative, but not an artist.  I think, ideally, the artistic process should have few constraints in terms of time and results- granted, some constraints can be helpful as a creative challenge.

Many great artists have a "through-line" with their work: A certain direction, element, or theme that they are constantly exploring and building upon.  That is the important part: exploring.  Taking the time to try things, fail, reflect, improve, try a new direction.  You build upon results and don't settle at one result and hand it over to a client.  Most importantly, you are exploring and creating art primarily for yourself and no one else.

That is what I'm finally doing again: exploring.  I'm experimenting with my filmmaking technique.  I'm learning.  I know what I'm gonna try differently.  I'm taking my time.  I have ideas and directions for results, but there is no end point for the time being.  I'm doing it for myself and no one else.

And that makes it more of an artistic process that is incredibly exciting and rewarding.

I look forward to sharing!

Peace.