Change in Hair: Cut the Mullet

I shaved my head when I graduated from college in 2008. It was liberating being hairless and finished with my undergraduate degree. No more exams and no more shampoo and conditioner for the time being.

I told myself I wouldn’t cut my hair again until something significant happened in my life. I decided to wait until I was debt free after paying off my student loans. I made my last payment on my student loans a couple of weeks ago and scheduled a haircut shortly thereafter.

For the great majority of my life, my mom has cut my hair. I’ve only been to a salon or barbershop about 10 times in my life. My aunt, my friends, or myself would cut my hair sometimes, but for the most part it was my mom. She’s given me a variety of haircuts including a shaved head, bowl cut, flat top, mullet, mohawk, and even lightning bolts shaved into the side of my head.

It’s been 21 months since my last cut and I was fond of the mass of hair I grew. I wasn’t totally ready to part with it so I made the perfect compromise: I got a mullet!

This rad mullet was cut by my friend Faye. I went to her because she had experience. She previously cut a mullet for my friend Danny who needed the hairstyle for his character Ben in the indie film Art House. Originally, I didn’t expect to like the style so much… but I’ve been rocking it for a week and half now and I love it- unfortunately to the dismay of my girlfriend Kelly.

Thanks Faye!

Honestly, I have a new fondness for the mullet. After the 80s passed in the U.S., the mullet generally passed as white trash. It seems more passable in European countries…  However, there are several variations, lengths, and modifications of the mullet that blurs its line of hip and horrendous. I feel mine falls in the middle of that spectrum…

It’s been a great conversation starter to say the least. The night I got it cut, I scored 2 high-fives within the first 30 seconds of entering a bar. I talked with one guy for a while. He made a bet with a girl that I was some guy who has been growing out his hair for a long time and got a mullet as a transitional hair cut. Right he was… at that time. However, the more I rock it, the more I think I’m gonna keep it. The guy then told me he shaved a hideous mustache right before a job interview and still got the job. He shaved the mustache off before his first day of work to the surprise of his employer who later confessed that he was confident in his skills but worried about his ugly mustache… But, he hired him anyway. And that’s the kind of people I want to continue to meet: the ones who pass off quick judgments to discover what someone is about. The people who will high-five and shoot the shit with a random person like me, sporting an awfully awesome mullet.

If anyone else out there decides to make the adventurous leap towards a mullet, contact Faye. She is building her mullet resume!

And now for a little pop culture of memorable mullets…

Don't tell me you never faked being sick in the early 90s so you could skip school and catch AC Slater's mullet in Save by the Bell.

This mullet made you hate Billy Ray Cyrus' music even more...

You could always count on Uncle Jesse's mullet to give you advice in Full House.

Remember when this kid got beat up and the principal said it was his fault for having such an awful mullet?

In this magazine ad, Mini takes a condescending attitude towards the mullet saying, "If we made the Mini any cheaper, he'd be able to afford it.  Don't make us do it."

What are you trying to say with this ad Mini?  Come on!  Are you suggesting that the mullet correlates to a certain socio-economic class?  One that you hope cannot afford your stupid car...?  Whatever.

I

And who can forget the contemporary hip mullets of the indie pop duo Tegan and Sara? Their mullets are as catchy as their tunes.

And last but not least, it's a good time to recognize Wesley Willis and his smash hit single, Cut the Mullet.  RIP man.

Change in Wheels: The Bicycle Thief and The Crackhead

[My Schwinn Prelude road bike was stolen St. Paddy's day, Wednesday March 17th, 2010 from 413 Washtenaw, Ann Arbor.  It was locked to a porch and stolen sometime between 10pm and 2:30am.  If someone helps recover my bike, I'll buy you lunch and give you a gracious high-five!  It's blue and chrome, has a rack, a water bottle holder, and a few lights.  I think it's a 2008.]

When I was a kid, I attempted to ride my mountain bike across a long patch of ice at the park. I thought if I kept my handle bars and tires straight, I could glide across 20 ft of ice. And I was right! Well, I was right for about 3 seconds, after which my bike flew out from under me sending me to the ground with my head ricocheting off the ice. In that moment of blurred vision I did not decide to get a bike helmet, but rather that I would never ride a bike in icy or snowy conditions.

Now that I'm an older kid, I would like to ride my bike during winter but I’m not hardcore enough to sport the gloves, mask, and goggles. Not to mention a road bike doesn’t fair as well as a mountain bike…

Fortunately though, Ann Arbor was blessed this past week with a few beautiful sunny days as we transition to spring. During this time, I also transition my wheels: less driving my little car into town, finding parking, and paying for gas while more riding my bike, skateboard, rollerblades, and more exercise and energy.

It’s 8:30pm St. Paddy’s day and I’m cruising on my bicycle. It’s only the third time I’ve had my bike out this season. I’m heading over to a friend’s for a haircut. The wind blows through my long hair one last time. I arrive and lock my bike to her front porch. We have some beers and I get an unforgettable haircut (A post on that coming soon). It’s about 10pm and we head to the bars.

I hang with my friends, we drink, we be marry, and now it’s 2am and we’re out. I get back to my friends about 2:30am expecting to ride the 3 miles back to my house, which is much harder now, being mostly an uphill ride…

But it’s gone… my bike is gone… no bike… no lock… no damage to the steel handrail where it was locked… nothing…

I’m really pissed. My neighbor who runs a bike shop hooked me up with this new Schwinn Prelude in 2008. This is only the 3rd season I’ve had it. I’m even more frustrated because I only need the bike for a few more months. I was planning to give it to my brother-in-law when Kelly and I head out for our Alaska-to-Argentina road trip this summer.

My friend and I walk around the nearby neighborhoods in a hopeless search.

I’m angry. I consider ripping someone else’s bike off a rack and riding it home… I remember the end scene of The Bicycle Thief, an incredible Italian Neorealist film about a worker who gets a job during the depression but needs a bike. After selling some of his families belongings, he gets a bike only to be stolen before his first day of work. [Spoiler Alert] After a long desperate search for the thief, the protagonist resolves to stealing someone else’s bike. His attempt is unsuccessful and witnessed by his young son who cries as he watches the shame and moral breakdown of his father. I imagine the same young boy watching me and crying… I curse and reconsider.

I have blurred moral lines of right and wrong. Generally, I don’t mind pilfering something from a large company, like eating a bunch of bulk food at the 24 hour grocery store (yum!) or wearing a sweat shirt out of Wal-Mart on a cold day. A lot of large companies like Wal-Mart already screw several people over both discreetly and not. But I could never steal someone’s personal property because I know I would directly screw someone over. 

I meet Kelly at a pizza place about 3am and she gives me a ride home.

Being bike-less is so frustrating. I’m now currently dependent on a car, oil, and transportation that burns fossil fuels and not calories. I’ve taken my skateboard and rollerblades out a few times and although fun, they are not nearly as practical and as fast as a nice road bike.

Please keep an eye out for my bike. I’ve got an extra tan trench coat, sunglasses, and a magnifying glass if you want to help me play detective.

[The Bicycle Thief  is one of my favorite films.  Who would have known it would come back with new meaning to my life.  Coincidentally, it is screening this Monday, March 22nd at the Michigan Theater.  I'll probably go to the screening and cry.]

In other wheeled news, during February, I was shooting a short film in Detroit at Lafayette Coney Island when my car was broken into. It was parked across the street on Michigan Ave and we we’re filming a shot across the street. My car was only there for about 30 minutes when a man came out of a building across the street asked the crew if this was our car. “Someone just broke into it,” he said. I ran across the street in disbelief. None of us saw or heard anything, but sure enough, my back window was smashed. I had several bags in my car with stuff of little value. The perpetrator had pulled a large blue bag out of my car and carried it about 20 feet where they left it after realizing it was way too heavy and filled with electrical cords of little value.

So what was the net utility of that transaction for everyone involved?

Crackhead: Zero. Maybe a negative if they injured themselves in breaking the window. A large negative in the event they could be arrested.

Car: Negative. Broken window = $100 insurance deductible reimbursed by the production. Fixed in one day.

Me: Zero. Fortunately nothing was stolen from me. But it was somewhat negative to drive home on the freeway in the cold with the wind blowing in and vibrating my whole car. Also a logistical negative to get to the film set the next day and schedule to have the window fixed.

Total: Negative. A lose-lose situation. But what does a thief or crackhead know about economics and utilitarian philosophy? In this situation, it seems apparently little. So this past week I had my car windows tinted so that the in the future, someone doesn’t break into my car for a shoebox or some scratched CD-Rs.

A note to all thieves out there: I have very few things of value… perhaps a liberal arts education from University of Michigan… but you can’t really steal that… but that’d be cool though…

Change in Money: Suck My Debt!

[As readership increases, I try to increase the production value of my content. I spent $1500 on this video. Please enjoy. Thanks for watching and reading!  Thanks to Charlie Slick for the music. "Money" is off his new album that hasn't been released yet. www.myspace.com/charlieslick.  Also, thanks to Kelly, Mike, and Joey for getting this money in the air! ]

The whole idea of debt seems wrong to me. It’s wrong to consume or spend more than we have. With natural resources (land, water, food, oil, etc.), debt translates to consuming in a manner that is not sustainable, which means we will ultimately run out of natural resources altogether. With financial resources (money), debt means to incur a negative balance (or rather, imbalance). Both resources, natural and financial, are highly interconnected since the majority of us are consumers of natural resources and not producers. For example, we spend our money on food, instead of growing it ourselves. We buy a new house, instead of growing trees, cutting them down, and building it ourselves. This indirect consumption of natural resources often dispels the responsibility of the individual consumer’s actions and their environmental impact but that’s a whole other discussion…

My biggest concern with debt is that it impedes on our freedom- which is what a lot of us want, right?

I found it interesting that the following words define debt in the dictionary: owed, bound, liability, obligation, gambling, offense, sin. Words like “bound” certainly inhibit freedom.

Thinking of how one creates debt, I’ve found 3 major categories (that I can think of at the moment):

1. Consumer debt. This is debt incurred from the purchase of consumer goods and services. It includes food, water, shelter, and purchases that go beyond necessities (find out more at your local mall). The convenience of credit cards helps us extend this debt. [An interesting documentary film Maxed Out tackles issues of credit card debt in the U.S. In an extremely tragic case, a student highly indebted to a credit card company committed suicide.]

2. Loan debt. This is voluntary debt incurred from taking out a loan. Loans are taken out for a variety of purposes. Education loans, home mortgages, and business loans seem the most common.

3. Unfortunate circumstance debt. This is debt that can occur for reasons beyond your control. For example, you we’re in an accident without health insurance and now you will have to pay medical bills for the rest of your life. Or maybe you are responsible for the unfortunate debt: Like the time I received a $430 speeding ticket in Oregon during a road trip (true story, that kicked my bank account in the groin).

With this said, there are only a few things that I feel are worth consuming or spending money on: health (mostly good food), education, art, and travel. My current wages support my health, art, and some minor traveling. Unfortunately, I indebted myself, approximately $13,000, to government loans to support my education. [See my first post for more insight.]

BUT, THAT HAS CHANGED!

AND ALAS, THE REASON FOR THIS POST…

I HAVE MADE MY LAST PAYMENT ON MY STUDENT LOANS!!!

I HAVE FOUND MYSELF IN AN AWESOME POSITION: I have zero debt, little stress, I typically sleep 8-9 hours a day, I have a radical girlfriend, I have radical friends and family, I have 2 goldfish, a leopard gecko, and a Chihuahua, I love my job teaching film, I earn enough to pay my rent and minimal bills, I only work 15-20 hours a week and I don’t really have a boss, I have time to work on creative projects, I have time to exercise and take care of myself, and I have time to be happy.

Basically, I think I’m beginning to stumble upon what so many Americans talk about and fight for: FREEDOM. Well at least financial freedom…

The funny thing is it doesn’t take much money either. It felt like I made a lot of money last year… But after finishing my taxes, I realized I grossed approximately $10,000 which is just below the poverty line for 1 person at $10,830. (Poverty Line '09)

I don’t have things like cable TV, designer clothes, or a hover-board (which I really want btw), but by no means do I feel deprived of happiness… Okay, maybe I would be a little happier with a hover-board.

The standard of living and happiness doesn’t improve with an increase in income, but rather bad consumer habits increase. You buy more and more because you’re making more money. You adjust to higher lever of consumerism. Then the company goes bankrupt, or you get laid off, and cannot keep up with your monthly purchases. Everyone talks about how bad the economy is and you’re screwed with bills asking yourself, “Why me?”

This is something I try to keep in mind as I slowly approach adulthood and increasingly make more money. I must fight to ensure the future of my freedom. I’ll fight off consumer temptations to splurge on modern day conveniences, I’ll stab credit cards, I’ll drop bombs on low-interest rate loans, I’ll declare war on home mortgages, and I’ll bomb any other capitalist and consumer venture that challenges my freedom.

“There are two ways to conquer and enslave a nation. One is by sword. The other is by debt.”

– John Adams

Peace.

-Lazer

Change in Pets: Chihuahua Adoption

Meet Brutus, the newest member to our lovely apartment family that is now Kelly, Myself, Gex the Leopard Gecko, Sebastian and Shirley the Couples Goldfish, and Brutus the Chihuahua.

We formally adopted Brutus from my parents this week. They relocated to a new condo that only allows one dog. Brutus pulled the short straw against Gidget, their Doberman, and needed to find a new home or cut it on the streets of suburban Detroit.

We’ve had Brutus in the family since he was a puppy and he is now going on 13 (or 14) with plenty of awesome gray hair. We got him during the heyday of Taco Bell Chihuahua commercials in the 90s. He’s never starred in a Taco Bell commercial but has a nice resume of film work through my own productions. Most recently, the starring role in the short film, Walking Brutus, produced by the film club I teach at Wayne Memorial High School. The film is about the importance of cleaning up after your dog, no matter how small the poop, as it effects the quality of the ground water which we ultimately drink and bathe with.

Check it out:

With Spring approaching, the melting snow around my apartment building reveals TONS of dog shit. A big thank you to all of the irresponsible dog owners in my building! [That’s sarcasm if it’s not apparent] What’s even worse is that there are 2-3 convenient little dog shit trash cans with "poopy pouch" dispensers. If you’re that lazy cleaning up after your dog, I sure hope your not as lazy caring for the animal. If I ever see you failing to pick up your dog’s poop, I may have to throw a hybrid dog shit snowball at you!

Small dog shit aside, Brutus is an awesome pet and enjoys being the only dog at our apartment. Kelly and I are even considering taking him on our Pan-American road trip from Alaska to Argentina which will commence Summer of 2010. It will be like a Chihuahua Birthrite to Mexico. Brutus would definitely help boost the morale- an important survival tip I’ve been learning from Bear Grylls on Man vs. Wild.

P.S. I’m 23 years old and I tied my very first tie today for the photo above. I’ve survived on clip-ons as a child and having other people tie them for me on rare occurrences as an “almost” adult. I’m so close to becoming an adult and living the American Dream! We’ve got a dog! Hurray! Now, all Kelly and I need is a marriage certificate, a new home with a lifetime mortgage, and some convenient appliances! [Sarcasm again.]

With a quick Google search, I learned how to tie a tie by this awesome guy: